The Quietest Goodbye

So tomorrow, I am off. Almost to Senegal! First to Washington DC on Sunday for two days of orientation (and one evening of hospitality by Katie Sabella). But then! On Tuesday, I leave for the SEN!

It has been a long, long road to arrive at this point.

In particular, the last three weeks have been especially trying. Right before my going-away party, I felt a cold coming on... I tried to coddle it into submission as best I could, and I really thought I had emerged victorious. BUT I HAD WON A MINOR BATTLE, NOT THE WAR. I waltzed into my party, carefree and thinking I was healed, sang a lot of karaoke, stayed out way too late, and BOOM: the next day, I completely and utterly lost my voice, and it didn't return for a week. A WEEK. It was one of the saddest ways to spend my last week in Chicago: SILENTLY. I couldn't dine with people! I couldn't express my feelings about The Bachelor! I couldn't read to the baby! But worst of all, I couldn't orchestrate all the dramatic goodbyes and tearful heart-to-heart talks I had planned in my head.

Eventually, the laryngitis returned to the disease that had TEASED me in the week before my party, and then it like guerilla attacked me. I was the red coat. The disease was the tricksy American. I was following the rules, damnit! But I had forgotten the most important rule of being sick: THERE ARE NO RULES. Yeah my week ended with a lot of vomit. It was disgusting and out of character, but I comforted myself by calling it preparation for Africa. Or thinking of it as a way for me to end my time in America with bad memories of vomit, thus preventing future homesickness.

But whatever, because now I'm on antibiotics, so I'm indestructible. Then again, I also had this weird moment where the Peace Corps nurse called me and made it sound like there was a chance I might not be going to Senegal anymore. I had emailed them about my antibiotics, just because I am ignorant of the ways of medicine: could my antibiotics interfere with my malaria medicine?! What about my rabies shots?! What about my sunscreen?! So much can happen. So I emailed them, they called me back... but I haven't heard anything since... so no news.. is good news? Let's hope so! Especially because I've invested a lot of money at Wal-Mart over the past few days and I will never get it back. So anyway. Antibiotics = indestructible, except if I turn up for orientation only to find out that I have been fired from my volunteer job due to the most dangerous drug of all: GENERIC AUGMENTEN!

But yes. For the past week, I've indulged in my fair share of emotional moments and final meals. Everything has seemed symbolic. Eating guacamole at El Amigo... for the last time in two years! WInning trivia night at Franklin House for the first time EVER... but not coming back to defend the title for two years! Putting my sweaters in my dresser... not to use them for two years! I've been getting carried away. Strangely, I think I had my biggest emotional breakdown while watching Jersey Shore. I was so torn between the world I am leaving behind and what lies ahead! I would get absorbed in Jersey Shore and then stop and think, "Ahhh! What am I doing?! I'm leaving America for TWO YEARS in like TWO DAYS! Why am I spending these last moments by watching crap like Jersey Shore?!" Then I would slightly hyperventilate, but become deeply engrossed in the compelling narrative of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino sleeping in a bed of grated cheese moments later. Then the cycle would repeat. It was all very meta.

No but seriously, I have done a lot of thinking and reading and perusing old photos and letters during the past week, all of which has led me to feel very, very excited about heading out. I'm excited about the people I'm going to meet and the things I'm going to learn and -- well, I guess I'm just excited for the adventure to unfold. Reading all of my old letters lately has made me especially appreciative of all the wonderful people I have in my life -- it's made me realize how much I'm going to miss not seeing most of you for such a long stretch, but also given me such confidence, just realizing how much support and love I have. Ahh. Sorry. See how quickly things have been going from crazy to emotional for me lately?! I'm like a pendulum of extreme FEELINGS.

In closing, here are some of my gametime packing decisions:

IN: Velveeta

OUT: Cheetos

-- In the battle of the cheeses, there was just too much air in the cheetos bag. Sad :(

IN: Hawaiian maxi dress that cost $3, but might make me look like I'm trying too hard to "be African"

OUT: gold sequined dress.

-- The sequins were just too heavy! And ostentatious and overwhelming and full of memories from Halloween, Miami, and the pride parade.

IN: poster of numerous puppies looking cute

OUT: poster of Justin Bieber

-- Most people probably can't tell the difference between these two posters anyway. But I didn't want to deal with questions about whether the Justin Bieber poster was just a big photo of my brother/uncle/father or worse, HUSBAND. Also, I hate Justin Bieber.

IN: Patti Smith's book

OUT: French-English dictionary.

-- Because I believe in art!!! And Because the night!!!! Here's to hoping I can create enough synonyms with my basic French to somehow express myself.

Thinking of all of you! By Wednesday morning, I'll be in Senegal :) Oh, and here is my address for my first two months. Please pass along your addresses in return!

Address for first 8 weeks of training (aprox. 3-9-11 through 5-9-11)

Lisa Floran

Corps de la Paix

B.P. 299

Thies, Senegal

West Africa

P.S. In the future, I will try to maybe describe what I'm doing a little more. Rather than, you know, just talking about Jersey Shore and my feelings. Don't worry. The time for clarity will come.